HUNGRYZXZXZX AND ANGRYZXZXXZ
It is soooooooo damn irritating):
Sometimes you are given high hopes.
And the next moment, you are being thrashed to square one again.

Its like taking the lift up a building.
You go to the lobby, you press the lift button, the lift arrives, you enter.
And you slowly ascends up to your desired level.
And upon reaching, the person immediately picks you up and throw you off the building.
You instantly land on level 1.
Then you are back to the state you are in before taking the lift.
But this time round you are hurt to a certain extent.
At this point of time, you will be picking yourself up and feeling super disappointed, proceed to walk away from the building.
BUT OH THE HORROR(AHAHAHAH WTFFF, MUST DRAMA ABIT AHAHAHA),
The person will be luring you again, giving you hopes and making promises, enticing you to go up the building.

& I myself would go “Okay lets try again. This time round, it would be different. You won’t throw me off again. I BELIEVE in you.”
I hate how I keep believing in you.
Believing that you will CHANGE.
Believing that YOU WILL KEEP YOUR PROMISEEEE.
Believing that you mean every single word you say.
Believing that you aren’t like that by nature.
I hate how I myself cannot stand firm against the decisions I make regarding you):
One moment I would promise myself that I will never ever side you again.
Never ever helping you again.
Never ever talking to you again.
But upon hearing your voice, I will immediately forget all the promises I make to myself and do things that are beneficial to you.
I’ll simply forget all the sins you have committed, all the sufferings you have implemented on others.
The worst part is, I will never be able to make myself realize the fact that YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE.
YOU ARE YOU, YOU ARE PROGRAMMED LIKE THIS.
LIKE HOW MICKEY MOUSE IS PROGRAMMED TO LIKE MINNIE MOUSE.
LIKE HOW DOGS ARE PROGRAMMED TO BARK.
LIKE HOW HUMANS ARE PROGRAMMED TO EAT AND BREATH.
YOU WILL NEVER KEEP YOUR PROMISE.
YOU WILL NEVER THINK ABOUT OTHERS.
YOU WILL NEVER MEAN ANYTHING YOU SAY.
YOU WILL NEVER CARE HOW OTHERS FEEL.
YOU. JUST. BLOODY. WILL. NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
I hate how I can’t make myself “immune” to you.
Now it’s at the point where I don’t even understand myself?
I dare to confront others.
I dare to confront all my other friends.
I dare to confront my family members.
BUT I JUST DON’T HAVE THE FUCKING COURAGE TO STAND UP AGAINST YOU.
I DON’T KNOW WHY.
I REALLY DON’T AND ITS NOT A GOOD THING.
The thing is I can pretend that I’d never knew you before but it will take time and I would need ALOTTTT of your cooperation by not contacting me.
But you are not allowing me to do so.
STOP GIVING ME HIGH HOPES WHEN YOU KNOW YOU YOURSELF CAN’T FULFILL IT.
BECAUSE EVERYTIME YOU DISSAPOINT ME, IT JUST GIVES ME MORE AND MORE REASON TO CONVINCE MYSELF TO LEAVE.
IF YOU DON’T WANT ANIMALS TO COME INTO YOUR HOUSE AND LIVE, DON’T LEAVE YOUR HOUSE DOOR OPEN AND LET THE ANIMAL COME INTO THE HOUSE AND SETTLE DOWN.
IT WOULD THEN BE DIFFICULT TO DRIVE IT AWAYYY.
From the start, just close the fucking door and make it clear to the animal.
I know I CTM and I really want to stop doing so.
But theres something stopping me from doing so and in fact, its making me want to CMAM for you.

I spent 24 hours thinking about what to do next and frankly speaking,
I still don’t know what to do.
AHAHAHAHA This is funny.

From the previous time, I thought that maybe you have really changed and that you were foolish that time and didn’t mean to do all those things.
But time and time again, the cycle repeats itself.
JUST AS I THOUGHT WE WERE ALL HAPPY ONCE AGAIN,
YOU TWO JUSTTTTTTTTT HAVE TO START QUARRELLING AGAIN.
JUST GREAT.
JUST WHAT I NEEDED.
AIYAH JUST CONTINUE FIGHTING AND DON’T RECONCILE OKAY.
I hate how I try again and again to make them forgive you.

AHAHAH I REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT I JUST TYPED SO ITS GENERALLY OKAY IF YOU DON’TUNDERSTAND.
AFTER THINKING FOR SO LONG, I’M REALLY OKAY ALREADY AND I’M NOT GOING TO BE THE ONE SOLVING THE PROBLEM ALREADY.
OMG I’M OKAY ALREADY:D

What hurts the most was when you said “I forgot”
Is there really no significance?
Its like forgetting who your mother is.
Forgetting your ABCs.
Forgetting your 123s.
ITS SUCH A BASIC THING AND WHAT, YOU TELL ME YOU FORGOT.
Have you ever wondered what does the word before “jellyyamjellyyamjellyyam” mean?
DO YOU REALLY NOT CARE TO SUCH AN EXTENT?
If you think its a typo, tell you what, IT IS NOT A TYPO.
I made you swear,
But you said you can't.
THIS SHOWS THAT YOU YOURSELF DON'T EVEN HAVE THE CONFIDENCE IN THE THINGS YOU SAY.

Sunburnt! 4:30 AM